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My other girls
I could not forget them
Written by Connie Small, June 3, 2001
I've been told, "You CAN'T forget your other girls!!!". It makes me feel as though people think all I do is sit around and grieve for Cassy, totally ignoring my other girls and their feelings. It isn't that way at all. I can't say I love them more now, but I do appreciate them more and I make a point of letting them know I LOVE THEM. Yes, they know I'm letting them know of my love, because Cassy died. But they also know, my love for them was there all along, just as for Cassy. Had it been one of them instead of Cassy, I would have done the same thing in showing my love for the ones left behind.
"Things" are all I have of Cassy now. Pictures, video, angels, memories, clothing. If I see something that reminds me of her and I can buy it, I do. There is precious little that can bring me any comfort. There is nothing that can take her place. I can touch my other daughters. I can tell them I love them. I can kiss their soft cheeks and smooth their hair away from their face. I can wrap my arms around them and hold them close. We can interact with each other in a physical presence. We visit with each other. We et together. We go shopping together. We do more together now than we have since they were small children living with me at home. I no longer take them for granted. Cassy's death has shown me how precious and short life is. And I won't waste a second of it when I can let my other girls know how much I love them.
I collect angels to remind me of Cassy. Not that I need tangible reminders of her, but to put in her place in a way that I can show others. "This is for Cassy. These angels stand for Cassy". She is not forgotten, just because she isn't here. Her sisters won't be forgotten, just because she isn't here. Each daughter is loved and remembered in her own way. Whether that child is here in my arms or here in my heart.