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I had to let you go; I cannot say good-bye.

I can't let that finality touch me

Written by Connie Small, December 6, 2000

How do you mourn the death of part of yourself?
Of all that might have been?
When the memories are so strong, you can close your eyes,
And be whole once more?

I can't bring myself to think of you as not alive.
My heart believes, you live somewhere, somehow.
In a different level, in a different time, in a different place,
Your essence, your spirit, your goodness, goes on.

My mind believes, but my hearts begs to not.
My mind can accept, but my heart rationalizes.
I cannot grasp the infinity of never.
There is no understanding of timelessness.

You came from within me, a part of you remains.
So long as I still have a single breath, I will love you.
I will remember you, until my last heartbeat.
I had to let you go. I will not say good-bye.

I write this in memory of my Angel Cassy, taken too soon from this earth, and from my arms, one month ago today.

I miss you, Cassy, so much. I love you and I always will, now and forever, plus one more day.
Mom